We'll see

Optimistic Possible Situation

100,000 x 0.05 = 5000
75,000 x 0.05 = 3750
120,000 x 0.04 = 4800
20,000 x 0.05 = 1000
60,000 x 0.04 = 2400
50,000 x 0.04 = 2000
20,000 x 0.05 = 1000
11,400 x 0.05 = 570
Total 20,520


Shit ass Situation

0

What can it be? We'll see! :)

Blessed are those around you...even the irritants.

My day started a wee bit foul. Grumpy people around me, Grumpy me around people. I wish god gave me more virtues. Patience. More patience for idiots around me. Patience for people who waste my time. Patience for people who ask for the sky. I spent most of my day frustrated with alot of people, and boy do i now think it was a bloody waste of my time (and thoughts)

Point to remember: Will breathe in future. Ignore the fuckwits and their situations. Don't let them affect my mood. How does one divide one's thoughts like that, and not get affected by situations and people. I sometimes am good at that....yet sometimes not!

Ps:

I thought about the times that Dad would blow my hair dry for me. Memories like that makes me smile. Sadness with a tinge of happy.

Daddie-O

It's been 6 weeks since my dad passed away. His birthday is in 3 days. He would have been 66. People walk in and out of our lives. But when they disappear forever, it is a totally different thing all together. Especially when they are people who are just the closest to your heart. I know that he is sitting beside God. Right under his wings. But i guess its for selfish reason that's why I'm feeling this pain.

Whom can I blame? I guess i am still trying to look for someone to put the blame or draw on a reason for his death. Do i blame the lousy doctors in jakarta? Do i blame dad for choosing to go there? Should i blame myself for not keeping him in singapore. So much things left unsaid. So much things left undone. I regret not being able to give him the quality of life that I would want him to have. Especially now that I am self sufficient. Growing up, he's always tried to give me the best that I wanted for myself, and the best he wanted for me. He wanted to make sure that I had the best education. He saw it through that I was to go overseas for my education. To see the world he says. He made sure that he was there when i graduated. I could see that he was really proud.

Dad and I hardly spent time together. We hardly spoke. But it isn't the quantity of time we had together. It was more the quality. He said not to regret. I want more of this quality sessions. How contradictory. Our 2 hour coffee sessions at the coffee joint outside California Fitness. Our routine of going to the Korean Restaurent that we have been going to for the past 26 years of my life when he comes back to singapore. Our chicken rice sessions at Chatterbox at Mandarin. I'm finding it difficult to go to these places and not think of dad. Dad made sure that he played the role of the father. The only meal i ever bought him was the chicken rice at Chatterbox. The other item i bought him is his final resting place at the church. I hate that thought. But i only want him to have the best, and only the best.

He was a simple man. He lead a simple life. Always gracious and ready to help the people around him when they needed help. A pity that sometimes people abuse it. What goes around will come around. He never expected anything in return. He was well loved by his family and true friends. A simple man, a simple life. All he needed was his his tea without sugar, his cigarettes and his chinese dramas. All i need is for him to be back. right. here. with. me.

I guess dad's passing has woken me up. There's more important things in life than work, money, and material things. Even a simple dinner at home weighs up the importance scale.

On the 27th he will be 66. On the 27th we will be putting him to rest in the church. This date just brings such a confusion of feelings.

John 16 Verse 22 “ For I shall see you again, and your hearts will be full of joy, and that joy no one shall take from you.

My dad. Mine.

I need to strike 4D.

I've been consolidating my finances lately, and it suddenly just occured to me in the periods of time that I have been working, I have had absolutely no financial sense of my own finances. The ironic part is I'm in this industry where i advise people on what to do about their money! I tell everyone that its really stupid to leave your money sitting in your bank accounts, and how one should be placing them in strategic investments. I've done that... in a way... my money has not been sitting in my account, it has been sitting in someone else's. Namely, Warehouse, Marc Jacobs, Aldo, Zara..... this damn list doesnt stop.

My expenses have shot through the sky and galaxies due to incessant lurings by evil dark forces in the past couple of weeks. My only consolation is that my own investments have done well. Only thing that I've failed to mention is that some investments had to be sold because of some redemption that had to be done for this soul that has got absolutely no control. My heart skips a couple of beats when i hear the word SALE. It will then start to beat so fast upon entering the shop that i have to tell myself to calm down. My mind decides to buy an item in all different colours when its just so fuckin tough to decide. I need to strike that 4D.

1) Mphosis polka dress $45

2) 2 pairs of Aldo Shoes



1) Luscious in Brown leather $159



2) My black shoe with gold studs, oh so full of character. $169


3) Motorcycle bag from HongKong $100

4) Denim zara dress $89.90

5) Warehouse jumpsuit $113





6) Warehouse shift dress $139






7) Warehouse slip dress in Red $104






8) Topshop Orange dress $30

9) Marc Jacobs shoes $520

10)BCBG Dress $119

11) Depressing to add on to the list....

I would like to have forgotten basic addition at this point.
I am feeling really really sick. It doesn't help that the Great Singapore Sale is coming up. And some anonymous person just sent me an sms to tell me that i could get further discounts if i bought certain labels. I am seriously getting a bit worried. I need an AA or something.

I will put my hands in my pocket.
I will avoid shopping centres.
I will strive to only spend $10 a day. Cigarettes not included.
I will eat at hawker centres and no more $20 lunches unless very neccesary :(
I will be more aware with my money, down to the very cent.
I will stop taking taxis. :(
I will clear my wardrobe and hopefully find a similar looking dress that looks like the Zimmerman one. :(

I don't like this already. I need to strike 4d.
Or marry a rich man.

i really dont like this.

This is bladie wrong, I can't do swedes.

You Should Date A Swede!

You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one. It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

ok. I need to go to Woffles Woohoo now... fuck..even that might not help.

You Are Most Like Gisele Bundchen

Slightly exotic and perfectly gorgeous

Which Victoria's Secret Angel Are You?

Always knew i had some problems with the girls..... Now the calculated reason why....

You Are 44% Girly

You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie. You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

How Girly Are You?

I apparently belong in London.... It's too gloomy for me!!!

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Different people, different lives, different expectations.
Spent time with mum yesterday doing our manicure whilst my boy was at the gym. Sat beside this 30'ish chinese lady. Big hair, fair skinned, coarse voice, sounding like she had too much to drink the night before. I have a slight suspicion that she's a hostess. (Not like theres anything wrong. Different people, different lives, different circumstances). She was having her manicure done by this 17 year old girl. Very young. Out of school. Street smart, yet not wanting to have an education. Their conversation went on about how the 17 year old wants to be in her mid twenties. That's when, according to her, she becomes a woman, she becomes totally independent. She's not enjoying her age, and she feels shes too yound. The 30'ish chinese lady, then said the best years of her life was when she was in her mid-twenties.

There I am, in my mid twenties, wishing that i was 18 again. I've never been a "if only" person. But there and then, i asked myself....if i was 18 again...what would i do. The thoughts then went on was me at age 35, telling myself...the best years of my life was when i was 25.... if only i was 25 again, what would i do? There and then, it suddenly struck me. I am 25. I am living in the now. Yet, i sometimes live in the past, and i live too much in the regrets of the past and aspirations of the future that i ignore the present. I'm guilty of letting opportunities pass by. I'm guilty of not living life to its max. I'm smoking too much, im stressing too much, im spending too much, im procrastinating too much. Too much of the bad things, too little of the good.

It's dissatisfaction with life. Setting too high expectations. Having too much demands. Living in this material society. Simply not being happy with what we own, thats making us all rats to this damn society. I resent the fact that im becoming like that. A Bloody singaporean rat. I'm losing sight of what is important in life.

It's a start of a whole new week. Why am i not happy?

It's a Sunday

It's sundays that I look forward to. I get to sleep late. I get to soak and busk in the sun. I get to sit on a boat, sail out in the sea and pretend to be a hippy for a coupla of hours in the arvo.
Away from all the noise and people.
Just the calmness of the sea.
The stillness of the water.
The silence sometimes deafens.
Ild see clouds pass me by.
The birds fly free.
Then when the sun sets, its back to reality.
It's like taking me out of the picture, and putting me back in again.

HEH. I think i was born to be a bum.
Endless supply of smokes and leisure, love and life.
Colours and music beats revitalizes me.
Fuck them interest rates, oil prices, fund prices, political warfare and how they affect the damn markets.
Cos I honestly don't really care or give 2 hoots about!

HEH.

Closest Thing To Crazy

How can I think I'm standing strong,
Yet feel the air beneath my feet?
How can happiness feel so wrong?
How can misery feel so sweet?
How can you let me watch you sleep,
Then break my dreams the way you do?
How can I have got in so deep?
Why did I fall in love with you?

[CHORUS:]
This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been
Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,
This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,
I was never crazy on my own...
And now I know that there's a link between the two,
Being close to craziness and being close to you.

How can you make me fall apart
Then break my fall with loving lies?
It's so easy to break a heart;
It's so easy to close your eyes.
How can you treat me like a child
Yet like a child I yearn from you?
How can anyone feel so wild?
How can anyone feel so blue?

By Katie Melua

Walking Together

He called and said that it was over.
He told her that that it was over and he didn't feel anything for her.
He told her that he wanted to focus on his work and that she was an obligation.
He told her that he wanted to focus on his religon and that she was an obstacle.
He told her that he couldn't be who he was and wants to be when he is with her.
He told her that his family came first, then God, then her.
He told her that there was no need to meet as nothing could make it better.
He told her that he just had no more feelings for her and he no longer loved her.
I could hear from her tone of her voice that she was nearly emotionally dead and the only thing that that was left breathing was the love that she still had for him.
She said there was nothing she can do but let him walk.

Away.

The ironic thing is that love though so beautiful can be so painful.

The thought of love disappearing like that is scary.
You know you want to be with one who despite his workload, doesn't see you as an obligation.
You know you want to be with one who would want to grow with you in his/your religon and other aspects of his life and doesn't see you as an obstacle.
You know you want and can be with one who is his trueself with you and you, your trueself with him.
You know you want to be with one when he doesn't put you on a pedestal but puts you on the same level as his family and perhaps God, because that pedestal can fall and a stable beam can't.
You know you want to be with one when you can Accept, and so can he.
You know you want to be with one when your love constantly grows, and you love him differently yet still as strongly everyday and vice versa.
And You and You walk together towards the same direction.